This one is going to be a tough one for me. Many years of therapy can attribute to that. When you are a child your whole world is the adults that are in it. The adults were who you trusted and trusted your life with. Even if we barely wore seat belts and did many things that people would frown upon today. One adult in my life was good to me about 90% of the time. That 10% is what scarred me or pushed me to do better. That person told me, as a teenager, that I would never go to college and I would be knocked up before I finished high school. If you knew this person you would think that it was who they were and they were just being them. Out of everything said to me, that was the only thing that stuck in my craw. I did a few things my senior year that would've sent me down that path but what that person said to me, pushed me to prove them wrong. I guess you can say it was a negative push or did it add to the abuse collecting in my brain? I went on to graduate from college and never had any children. I guess you can say I proved them wrong in a negative way! The second adult in my life that added to the abuse in my head affected me when I was younger. Elementary and middle school age to be exact. This person would make fun of the way I walked. When I was very little I was diagnosed with what they called "pigeon toed". I wore braces on my legs while I slept and my shoes on the wrong feet to improve and correct my feet/walk. So, when I was a preteen and being picked on for the way I walked, it stuck with me and hurt me. They would also pick on me for eating too much and would snort like a pig when I got a glass of milk just to make fun of me. There were so many other things done to put me down and it was all done when my mom wasn't looking or she wasn't around. This person was suppose to be someone I should trust but I truly didn't. The "teasing" caused me to hate this person. I could go on and on, but it doesn't define me anymore. The alcoholism that went with the treatment of me is a whole other episode to discuss at a later date. I really didn't think it all affected me at all. I began to make faces back and not allowing it to hurt me anymore. I chose to not let it as a preteen, but realized as an adult it really did. My first therapist had me write a letter to this person to get everything off my chest and wow, did it help! I was there to discuss how being a diabetic affected my life and found many ghost in my closet. I truly didn't know I was holding on to so much baggage. I truly didn't know it was one of the reasons I chose certain people to date and I brought that baggage into my relationships. I have always prayed that my nieces and nephew's NEVER had to feel the way I did and that no adults in their lives will EVER hurt their feelings or break their trust and if it has happened they would come to me for help. They would have one angry aunt to stand up for them. I will get into more detail later about how the alcoholism had affected me but for now, this is just another daily dose of T!